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When relationships and social media collide...

When relationships and social media collide...

It was not in the plan to write back to back blog about such topics, BUT it's happening anyways, so bear with me. I do have a post about the impact of social media coming up, so I figured I could link these two somehow (Justification at its best!).

So anyways, this past weekend, my newsfeeds (FB, Instagram) exploded with commentary and memes relating to an Instagram Live that had occurred on Friday night. Now I was not one of the thousands in the live audience to this show, but I did see a part of the video that was circulating afterwards. To give this some background, a former beauty queen (Ms. T&T World) went 'live' to discuss her Carnival experience. This experience included her boyfriend (heir to maybe the largest construction firm in the country?) rudely ditching her to wander into the crowd to have a clandestine (her word) adventure with another beauty (also a member of a prominent business family in the country). The self-narrated video related that she did not react well to this, following them and lunging at the girl. This was all of the video I personally saw, and it was more than enough.

Now my main issue with this situation is the general reactions to it. Each day that goes by, I feel like the world just becomes meaner, and more hateful. Yes, it's true that social media is not the place to air your dirty laundry, especially if you're a public figure by your own design, which opens you up for public criticism (fair or not!). However, it was a reference to something negative that happened that she was addressing. Could it not have been her taking front as we like to say? Wouldn't it have gotten out anyways, and it would have been something she had to address as lunging and 'roughing up' (again her words) someone is undeniably not classy, role model behaviour. 

The reason I was disturbed by what seemed to be the popular opinion was that the first response was that this was an attention seeking move, attacks on her 'fake' accent, her gold-digging ways, and her stupidity. My first reaction was..this poor girl. Does empathy no longer exist? Have we never had our hearts broken, or been betrayed by someone we loved and trusted? Have we never simply lost control of our faculties in the heat of the moment and said or did something we regretted? Well...I definitely have (albeit not on this scale but still...) and it's because of those experiences that to this day I am ashamed enough that I can say there's much less chance of it ever re-occurring. I would love to say in no uncertain terms that it will never happen again because I am evolved and I am better than that, etc. etc. Now, while I really hope that I am, the thing about emotions, and raw pain is that it's not logical and cannot always be controlled, especially in those initial moments.

Do I agree with her actions? No. I think it's completely wrong to ever attack another person (self defense obviously excluded). I was also extremely annoyed that when that burst of anger needed to be directed somewhere, she attacked the girl, and not her boyfriend. After all, her boyfriend is the only one who is under any obligation to her, and their relationship. While it may be common decency to 'leave the people man alone', and I wish it meant more in this world, it's simply something that is not owed to anyone. However, again because I've had past crazy experiences, I can only guess that she had a long standing issue with the girl herself because of attacks that were probably aimed at her directly by the individual (I guess and hope to be honest so it makes more sense!). 

I do not know any of these individuals personally, and neither do most of the persons commenting, and more so bashing them/her. We all appreciate a good joke. It's our culture, and it makes us a jovial happy bunch of people, and that's fantastic. However, it doesn't make it okay to be cruel to persons. Regardless of if they are rich (or perceived to be), pretty, well-spoken, or anything else that seemingly gives them an advantage, it doesn't change the fact that they're human beings with feelings. It doesn't change the fact that mistakes happen, and it's magnified a million fold when it's replayed on a loop on social media. Nobody is saying not to have an opinion. Hell..that's your right, but please try to let the punishment fit the crime. And while you're at it, and most importantly, stop and truly think for just a second about why you're personally being so hateful to another individual. If the answer doesn't stop you in your tracks, and you continue with those negative thought and speech patterns, then do not doubt that you're part of the problem in society.

When you throw dirt at people, you’re not doing a thing but losing ground.
— Zig Ziglar

More light.

More love.



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